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View Full Version : Trophies, very short FanFic



Lucky
11-01-2005, 07:24 PM
Kayen rested his axe on his shoulder, scanning the battlefield for a worthy enemy. Within seconds he sighted a Warwind on the battlefield, making her way through Dragyri Slaves in a maelstrom of blades.
His eyes locked onto the human, and he worked himself into a run, crossing the field in large strides, jumping over bodies of his fallen kin. His feet pounded against the ground like jackhammers as he readied his axe, which towered above any human.
He leapt into the air and whirled his axe around his head, ready to bring it down on the unsuspecting Whirlwind. The human turned around just in time to dodge the blow, which whistled in the air as the axe plunged through empty space.
In the small moment that the Frostbite was taken off guard, the Whirlwind made a quick slash, which Kayen barely avoided.
Kayen went into a crouch and analysed his enemy. She was obviously skilled, as he could see from the number of Slaves

Pyrrhus
11-02-2005, 12:18 AM
Veterens I'm not sure about, but elite they are.

Good work. Only one thing jumped out - at one point you refer to the floor - I had assumed it was outdoors though.

gunslinger
11-02-2005, 12:49 PM
nicely done.. although the reference to in game minniature names can be a bit out of the ordinary.. some one reading this with no knowledge of the game would not follow.. i would suggest describing what a whirlwind is by their actions in your story and then say.. ____ name is a whirlwind.. etc..

but the short story was very nice