The Wassail of Saint Nickislaus is here…

December 20, 2017 BackgroundCards  No comments

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It is about that time here on ancient Terra, and for the people of Samaria that means one thing… Saint Nickislaus is almost here with his savage bride to cull the weak from both the naughty and the nice.
So… turn down the lights… string some chains across the doors… and recite the following…

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Saint Nickislaus’ Ballad
‘Twas the eve of Wassail, and all through the block
Not a window was open, all latched shut with their locks;
The rifles were loaded and laid out by the fire,
Waiting to fend off Saint Nickislaus’ ire;
The children should huddle under their beds,
sharpening their knives and covering their heads;
And mamma as lookout, with dad stoking the flame,
If the paingiver got in, we knew who’s to blame.
When out in the winds I heard a fieldhand scream,
I spun to see shadows shifting through moonbeams.
I ran to the door, checked the chains in a flash,
Everything held tight and would stand a good bash.
I peaked out the firing slot, not sure what’s to find,
But only darkness and dust, ‘twas as if I were blind.
Then with a bellowing song, my heart filled with fear,
The giant man and his portly wife, they did appear.
Clad in leather, fur, and hammered steel,
The Nickislaus spirits stood; their gaze we could feel.
They laughed, and the Saint gave his wife a kiss on the cheek,
They called out to us all, and my knees went weak;
“Liars and cheats! Adulterers and thieves!
Cometh and get ye’r due on this eve of eves!
Send out your sinners and pay they will!
This is your last chance to choose who we kill!”
With a hoot and a growl they began to circle our home,
And my family and I, we saw not where they roam.
Hefted our rifles, barrels out of the slits,
The Nickislaus spirits scared us from our wits.
‘Twas then the first bullet punched through the wall,
Whizzed past my ear, to the floor I did fall.
Mamma let out a few shots, hitting nothing but night,
The only answer was laughter, the Missus’ voice a fright.
“Let us in! Let us in! For you I have treats!
Arsenic for liars, cold steel for the cheats!
A sweet song of madness, or cookies to chew,
Open the door and see what’s for you!”
Then we all gasped! We all tried for brave,
Three bangs on the door, and the chains almost gave!
I scrambled, I crawled, I fumbled for the lock,
But I froze when high night chimes rang on our clock;
It was not enough time, I tried my best,
But that door would give and let in two guests;
There was a sick peal, and the chains dropped to the floor,
And the damnable ogre’s shape filled the frame of the door.
He was huge, sweaty, and smelled sickly sweet.
Behind him, his wife, gleefully tapping her feet;
The demon, he stooped, and sniffed at the air,
Passing judgement upon the foul and fair;
He growled not a word, kept coldly to work,
Stopping once he smelled mamma; then turned with a jerk;
His chain shot out, swept her straight away,
“It’s you!” he roared, “Who now must pay!”
Finding her guilty, they took mamma outside,
Given hardly a moment, between them she died.
The rest of the family clung close, happy to be alive,
So now I wish all their own Wassail to survive!

Oh yeah, enjoy the following “Holiday Bounty Hunters” as well!

Holiday Spirits Cards - web

xmas_slay_cards-downloadable

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